Monday, 24 June 2013

What not to do while trying to conceive, and doing it in glorious style

Yep, we're back from what has already been dubbed The Glorious Holiday in these parts. Although a mere perusal of my blogger reading list indicates that I have a lot of catching up to do where my bloggy friends are concerned, (bear with me, I'll stop by soon!) I don't have much in the way of updates in Invincible Spring Land.

The uterus? Still very much unoccupied. (Did we expect anything different, really?) We have an appointment with the clinic on Thursday, and along we teeter... Honestly, none of it - the screaming scarlet that made its appearance a tantilizing two days late, or our perpetually childless status, the waits and the run-arounds at our clinic - seemed too bad in the context of recent weeks.

The holiday? Just...glorious. We hiked and strolled and explored and swam and ate and drank and laughed more than we have in a long while. It was a tonic for our marriage, and for my outlook on life generally.

And did we stick to the promise that we made before our departure? Not entirely, but that was ok too. Travel for me has always been about engaging with as much looking at new surroundings. A big part of that, I guess, is about allowing yourself to think about your own life and place in the vastness of things, as you encounter diversity and newness and difference. Because I'm a narcissistic emo type I tend to reflect on what I'd like to bring back with me from each encounter; not just the little stuff like a piece of local art of a tasty new way of preparing fish or doing my hair. The bigger stuff too: different priorities, ways of expressing ourselves, worldviews. (I think maybe these weeks away clarified some things for H and I, though how we act on that remains to be seen.)

So yeah, there was some of that too, fuelled by drinking in too much art, epic history and local socio-cultural quirks (birch bark sauna slapping, anyone?!) oh ok, and vodka. Like I said, glorious.

I'm sure I'll be back to bore you with photographic evidence in the coming days, but for now, I'm equal parts busy with all the back-to-reality stuff one inevitably faces, and stuck in a post-holiday-funk-apathy.

OMGseriously you guys! We went from these vast, ethereal, bright blue skies which become alight with orange and pink swirls around midnight, but never truly darken... 


Midnight sun marvel: 2AM
...to the grey, featureless, claustrophobic lid that is the sky over England at any given time. We traded sunshine and shirtsleeves for rain and woollen jumpers again. Sigh.

In sum though, (once my period had finally arrived), I can say that my behaviour on these weeks away was a veritable compendium of What Not To Do When You're Trying to Conceive:

  • Forget your embargo on caffeine completely, and partake of daily doses of rich, dark, aromatic coffee (the likes of which is never to be found here in England), served in elegant cafes on cobbled squares while watching the world go by. Usually twice daily.
  • Go local and eat raw fish, prepared ninety seven ways, of which there never seems to be a shortage. And caviar. So much caviar.
  • Develop a heretofore unthinkable taste for vodka, which becomes irresistible in this land of expert vodka drinking and making (they treat it like fine wine). Sample the amazing, locally distilled varieties infused with incredible things like rhubarb, lingonberry, and sea buckthorn (my new favourite fruit!
  • Smoke (gasp!) a leisurely cigarillo while seated in aforementioned cafe
  • Throw your acupuncturist-recommended, doctor-backed gluten free diet (and with it your caution) to the wind, and partake of an obscene amount of pastries! cakes! breads! and beers in virtually every microbrewery pub you find along the way (they take their beers seriously too, these people)
  • Saunas! Hot springs!
  • Have sex with your husband for the sake of sex alone. Frivolous, exciting, standing-up, bathroom-in-a-moving-conveyance sex, as though you're a pair of horny teenagers with not a care for his sperm reaching your cervix on what might very well be fertile days (I know! Rebels!)

So yeah, I guess you could say we had an awesome time.

Suck on that, happiness-sanctioning, spontaneity-stealing infertility!


24 comments:

  1. Oh looks like these days were like balm and that you had an amazing time. And oh how I miss coffee (and I got a full 3 bags of the delicious aromatic stuff for my birthday).
    Hope everything will go smoothly with your doctor appointment and coming back to reality.

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  2. I haven't left the country and I've done bullet points 1-5 this month. Oops. Glad you had an amazing time away :) Hold onto that happy feeling.

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  3. glad you had a great time and induged in some carbs, coffee and vodka! it is good to say "suck it" to TTC every once in awhile!

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  4. Looks beautiful and I am so glad you threw caution to the wind and really enjoyed yourself. Being happy is the best medicine :)

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  5. What a fabulous holiday. Your post is oozing relaxation and happiness and it's so great to read! Cheers to doing it all with style and passion!

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  6. Sounds like an awesome trip! Glad you were able to enjoy yourself.

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  7. I think that holidays are like birthdays- diets/calories/alcohol intake doesn't count and it's just all about enjoying the moment. Glad you had fun! :-)

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  8. I love that you did all those things while on vacation! It sounds glorious, and I can't wait to see pictures. I'm sure they won't be boring.

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  9. I love, love, love this post. I want to do crazy, wild and reckless things too. A cigarillo?!? My goodness Sadie, you do rock a wild time. I am sooooo jealous.

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    1. Sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do for a good time Ana! If anyone deserves it, you do my girl!

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  10. I would argue that is exactly WHAT you should do while trying to conceive. We stress so much about to put in our bodies, when really it's just putting life on hold and causing stress. I was SO perfect about not a drop of alcohol after ovulation, until, the last cycle, we were in Mexico, and I had a few drinks and....voila! I got pregnant. Did I stress over those 3 drinks (over a 5 day vacation)? For a few days. Then I realized that was stupid because the baby may not have even implanted yet and it may just have been my lack of stress that got me pregnant. SO. Stay in vacation mode as long as you can. It sounds great :)

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    1. In theory, you're right, and it *sounds* so nice, and so compelling. Honestly though? There is not a single infertile couple out there who has not heard some variation of the 'just relax and it'll happen' schtick time and time again. Of course it's important to be relaxed, and of course I'd rather stay in holiday mode than not...But truly, for many of us in the ALI community, it wouldn't matter if we took permanent vacation 52 weeks of the year, we still probably wouldn't get knocked up. If that's a strategy that works for other couples, they are very lucky indeed!

      Of course, I still don't mind any excuse to engage in all the above behaviours though... ;)

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    2. Oh no I totally understand that and just reread what I wrote and relaxed it sounded way too simplistic. I can only imagine how annoying it is to be told, "just relax, it will happen." I think what I was trying (not so eloquently) to say is, don't beat yourself up. You can't live every month perfectly and, in the long run, it's probably healthier for you and your body if you relax the rules sometimes and just live.

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    3. I totally get what you mean, and I totally agree! And, I am certainly not beating myself up...When I get to the point where I finally have the chance to carry another pregnancy, I know it'll be as important that I'm happy and calm (as much as possible) as that I took the right vitamins or followed an exact diet. Thanks for replying!

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  11. Sounds heavenly. All of it. I kind of hate that you have to return to reality after all that gloriousness.

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  12. This sounds amazing. All of it. And that coffee you describe? Ahhh... perfection. Sounds like a completely relaxing and restorative break.

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  13. Welcome back. What a wonderful adventure you have been away on. Sounds amazing and just what you needed. Not too bad weather here today though, but yeah, England is England...

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  14. Ohmygod. This sounds pretty perfect, I'd say. And much needed. Hurray for vodka, caffeine, tobacco, and sex for pleasure. Jeez, woman. You had quite the vacay! I can hear the happiness in your words.

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  15. woop! sounds just the ticket. So glad you guys had such a good adventure :) xxx

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  16. Welcome back! I am so glad that you fully immersed yourselves in relaxation and telling infertility to suck it. You deserved a fantastic breather, good vodka and a really good shag! Post more pictures, when you can. I love travel pics. Good luck tomorrow with your appointment.

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  17. Yay! That's an awesome list. Glad you did all of that and truly enjoyed your time with your hubby. That is awesome.

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  18. YOU GO GIRL, I feel like Ive been on a holiday by just reading your post. HAPPY DAYS ARE HERE AGAIN. Sally X

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  19. Thank you so much ladies! I figure if you're gonna do it, do it in style. Am I right?!

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