I know this day weighs heavy for many in this community. I feel like I've gotten off lightly; Mother's Day is celebrated in March here in the UK, though - without the ubiquity or commercialism that seems to fuel it's North American counterpart - I scarcely remember the day this year, or what I was doing. During the previous two, we lived in Portugal, where the day is not marked at all. That country, with its traditional, catholic cult of the maternal, needs no such day, but is also not quite so in-your-face, nor as saccharine, in its reverence for motherhood.
But I know this day is hard for many, and as I think of you all, I want to share the following.
I want us all to remember that we are not our just bodies, those which sometimes seem frail and failing and plotting to betray us. Which nonetheless keep us going, continue to pump rushing blood to our abundant hearts, remind us to be slow and gentle and nurturing with ourselves when things don't turn out right, and when all we want is to nurture another. Our bodies are of us, but we are more than the sum of their often unpredictable parts.
We are more than the struggles, the heartbreak we have faced as we seek to bring new life into the world. And although days like this, and experiences like ours can feel so lonely and isolating and make us question our value in a world that seems to simultaneously elevate motherhood and belittle its expression outside a very standardized norm, please know this: the love that you have accumulated in abundance, in all the months of your longing, the many cycles in which you have nurtured hope and heartbreak, that love which sees you through the dark days, that springs from the saltiness of your tears, that sings through your laughter as you continue to hope, that allows you to nurture your dreams in the face of it all, that love flows outwards.
That love flows outwards, and the world is a better place for it.
Whether you are harbouring love for the children you had and lost. Whether for the children who have yet to come, but who you have dreamed in fiercest technicolour. Whether for the babies you did not birth with your bodies, but parent and nurture with all your heart and soul.
While the world at large may not recognise us as such,
we are mothers.
I can think of nothing more maternal than the love, support, encouragement, and humour that I see circulating amongst you badass Mamas every day. Thank you.
You are all amazing mothers, even if your babies couldn't stay, even if they haven't come yet. Your motherlove is strong, amazing, powerful stuff.
