Sunday, 12 May 2013

Mother's Day

I know this day weighs heavy for many in this community. I feel like I've gotten off lightly; Mother's Day is celebrated in March here in the UK, though - without the ubiquity or commercialism that seems to fuel it's North American counterpart - I scarcely remember the day this year, or what I was doing. During the previous two, we lived in Portugal, where the day is not marked at all. That country, with its traditional, catholic cult of the maternal, needs no such day, but is also not quite so in-your-face, nor as saccharine, in its reverence for motherhood.

But I know this day is hard for many, and as I think of you all, I want to share the following.

I want us all to remember that we are not our just bodies, those which sometimes seem frail and failing and plotting to betray us. Which nonetheless keep us going, continue to pump rushing blood to our abundant hearts, remind us to be slow and gentle and nurturing with ourselves when things don't turn out right, and when all we want is to nurture another. Our bodies are of us, but we are more than the sum of their often unpredictable parts. 

We are more than the struggles, the heartbreak we have faced as we seek to bring new life into the world. And although days like this, and experiences like ours can feel so lonely and isolating and make us question our value in a world that seems to simultaneously elevate motherhood and belittle its expression outside a very standardized norm, please know this: the love that you have accumulated in abundance, in all the months of your longing, the many cycles in which you have nurtured hope and heartbreak, that love which sees you through the dark days, that springs from the saltiness of your tears, that sings through your laughter as you continue to hope, that allows you to nurture your dreams in the face of it all, that love flows outwards.

That love flows outwards, and the world is a better place for it.

Whether you are harbouring love for the children you had and lost. Whether for the children who have yet to come, but who you have dreamed in fiercest technicolour. Whether for the babies you did not birth with your bodies, but parent and nurture with all your heart and soul.

While the world at large may not recognise us as such, we are mothers.

I can think of nothing more maternal than the love, support, encouragement, and humour that I see circulating amongst you badass Mamas every day. Thank you.

You are all amazing mothers, even if your babies couldn't stay, even if they haven't come yet. Your motherlove is strong, amazing, powerful stuff.




21 comments:

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    1. I hope your Mother's Day was a peaceful and hope-filled one my friend.

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  2. Thanks for this. You succeeded at making me tear up. Mother day is not particularly hard for me... I guess the part of me that celebrates it still feels like a child because it's a day I think of my mom, mom-in-law, grandmorhter. And the other part think it's commercial, made up.
    But your words, are just so beautiful. Thanks for this. I might have to bookmark it as reading material for hard days.

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    1. Thank YOU Amanda. You are definitely one of the most motherly, loving, supportive bloggers I know.

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  3. I love that! You are nailed it when you said "we are more than just our bodies". This post touched my heart, thank you!

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  4. Wow. Simply beautiful Sadie. So powerful.

    It's so hard to forgive our bodies for what seems like betrayal, isn't it? Once I realized my body has been trying just as hard as my mind all these years to create a baby, I was finally able to forgive it. Like I actually forgave my uterus. I think this is something that only we in this community would understand.

    This post is amazing. I love it. So eloquent!

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    1. You put it perfectly Alicia. I guess no one who hasn't experienced this would really understand, but we really do have to rebuild our relationships with our bodies. I often feel mine has let me down, I've got angry at it... But in the end I realize it's doing the best it can. It's not that my body just isn't working hard enough, any more than it is my inability to 'think positively' that makes me infertile. It just is. And as much as it sucks, I'm grateful to my body for looking after me through all this too.

      I hope you had an amazing Mother's Day with that beautiful girl of yours!

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  5. This is beautiful, Sadie. And so true. Thank you for this important reminder that even though we don't fit into the what some believe is the definition of "mother," so many of us are already mothers. Wishing you a day of peace.

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    1. Sometimes we just need to remind each other, because society seems to forget us all too easily. Thank you for remembering with me.

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  6. Amazing post Sadie... you are a beautiful mother!

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    1. Thank you so much Catherine! I hope we make our boys proud :)

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  7. Beautiful. Thank you. xo

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  8. That is one lovely blog post.

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    1. Thank you Ana. I hope your Mother's Day was a gentle one.

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  9. Oh how beautiful written. This is poetry for the heart. Thank you for this.

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  10. Amazing that out of such a deep pain can come such beauty. I am always warmed by your words and the freindship you bring. Love to all those strong mothers.X Sally

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  11. Thank you for this. Just...thank you.

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  12. thank you for this beautiful post!

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  13. Damn, you are a fine lady. I'm floored and humbled by your gentle wisdom.

    THANK YOU <3

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