Friday, 2 May 2014

A long-nurtured, fragile hope, resoundingly answered

I know with my last post I left you with the cliffhanger of all cliffhangers; that wasn't fair and I apologize. In my defence though, these have been momentous days. Huge. Obviously.

I am thrilled relieved overjoyed <apt-words-fail-me-but-here-goes-anyway> here to announce that after a scary final week of pregnancy in which I was monitored for a possible pulmonary embolism and diagnosed with pre-eclampsia, the little seedling made her arrival on a stormy Friday afternoon, at 34 weeks and 2 days, in a c-section delivery that was as close to the ideal birth experience as we could have imagined.

Suddenly she was here, perfect and magnificent and loud.

There were no dramatic tears as in the movies on screen or played in my head; instead, utter, magnificent silence, a deep recognition of the sacred tearing into this profane space where monitors beeped and lights blazed and a medical team diligently went about their work of sewing me up, marking this momentous, earth-shattering event on my body with each stitch.

She pierced the reverie with her screams. H and I were awe-struck. I don't think we quite believed it, any of it; her newness, her pinkness, the proof of how alive she is. The staggering, simple fact of her existence. Still don't.

But she is here.

Even as I type this, my breath still catches realizing it, again.

Her name means hope in Hebrew. At a time when we were close to giving up, she restored ours in multitudes, from the very moment she made her first, unexpected appearance.

I am in love, of course, but it is nothing (everything?) like I thought it would be. There is all the same confusion of emotions - elation, fear, doubt, euphoria, hope, trepidation, joy - of any intense love affair, yet none of the uncertainty, oh no.

We were made for each other.



Friends, thank you for all your thoughts and wishes as we passed those final, nerve-wracking hours. Thank you for wishing and praying for her. Thank you, all this time, for helping us, always, to find our way back to hope.

45 comments:

  1. Sadie, she is so beautiful!!! Congratulations to you and H! Will be thinking of all of you in the days to come and hoping that your time in NICU is very short., with all of you home soon.

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  2. She is so beautiful. Congratulations.I don't have words for how happy I am for you. She is such a marvel, hug her extra hard from us 3. I hope you are doing well. All the love. (And rest, when you can, drink, eat nourishing food, and cherish every single second).

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  3. She is beautiful! Congratulations!

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  4. Congratulations, she is so beautiful!!

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  5. She is so precious - congratulations to you and your husband!

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  6. She is stunning and perfect. The world needed more hope.

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  7. Beautiful.....and aaaaaammmmmen!......tell her she is officially grounded forever!

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  8. She's is stunningly perfect! Congrats!

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  9. She's breathtaking. Congratulations, mama!

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  10. She is beautiful. Congratulations! I hope you, H and the little one are all doing well.

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  11. I'm so glad to hear that she has arrived. She's absolutely beautiful!

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  12. She is so beautiful and perfect! I'm so glad she's here. Enjoy every moment.

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  13. Wow, she's is truly adorable <3 Congratulations! Hugs to all of you.

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  14. Overjoyed for you! Congratulations mom! She is gorgeous!

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  15. She is adorable! Congratulations! Hope everyone is doing well!

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  16. She is indescribably beautiful. Truly. Thank you for sharing your precious treasure with us. Congratulations!

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  17. I have tears in my eyes. She is just perfect, Sadie! So beautiful and tiny and wonderful. I couldn't be happier for you :)

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  18. oh congratulations!!! so completely over the moon for you guys!

    Mo

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  19. Your daughter is beautiful! Congrats, Momma! I'm so happy for you guys.

    Rose

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  20. Welcome, little one. Sadie, I am so happy for you, and crying tears that she's here. S must be one happy big brother to know that she's arrived safely to your arms.

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  21. Oh so happy for you my friend. What a blessing, she is so cute! I love her sweet little nose! xo

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  22. What wonderful and exciting news! Congratulations!! She is absolutely darling. :)

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  23. Oh, so precious! <3

    It's great to see you holding her and getting that time to bond. Also great to hear that she's feeling feisty enough to be loud. :) Has she had her surgery yet? I'm hoping that you can all go home before long!

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  24. Precious and perfect!

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  25. Oh my GOD!!!!!!!!!! Sadie, this is the best news I've heard all week. I've been impatiently (k let's be honest here - OBSESSIVELY) checking your blog to see how everything is going and this just made me cry tears of happiness and relief. Congratulations - little hope is beautiful. She is perfect.

    All the best to you and H in the coming weeks as you settle into everything. You continue to be in my thoughts - I hope your stay in NICU is short and that hope is healthy and thriving.

    Sadie, I am so happy for you, so proud of you, so excited that your little girl is here. Amazing. No words, really ... just a bunch of blubbering blabber. Hugs hugs hugs.

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  26. Perfectly beautiful; so happy to hear of her safe arrival. Just the best news of the day.

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  27. Posting again to say... Those lips! So pouty! So sweet! Gorgeous!

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  28. She is so beautiful :)
    I've been checking every day in the hope - :) - of seeing your little girl. I'm elated for you and H. I can't wait to see more and more pictures of her on here :)
    Love xxx

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  29. I have been eagerly awaiting this update! So beautiful, so precious. I am beyond thrilled for you. Can't wait to see more photos!!

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  30. She is absolutely beautiful! Her arrival is indeed a reminder to always remain hopeful. I am so very happy for you and H! It has been a privilege to witness your journey. Congratulations!

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  31. I've been over here thinking about you three like mad. Sadie, she is absolutely perfect. Aren't these days the most wild, raw, resoundingly beautiful and terrifying thing you have ever experienced? I'm so glad the c-section was an ideal birth experience for you. Mine was for me, as well. Amazing.

    Hugs and love to each of you.

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  32. Congratulations! so happy for you and little Hope!

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  33. Awwwww. Gorgeous little monkey. Congratulations!!

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  34. OMG, she is beautiful! Enjoy your precious miracle!

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  35. Congratulations Sadie. I am so happy for you, your beautiful daughter and your whole family. Much love.

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  36. Congratulations! Enjoy every second with her!

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  37. Congratulations! She's just beautiful.

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  38. Oh Sadie, I'm so so happy for you! Your daughter is here and she is such a cutie. I hope you are recovering well and that little Hope is growing and thriving. It's an overwhelming experience filled with so much joy.

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  39. Thinking again today of the safe arrival of little Miss Hope as Mother's Day approaches- so affirming in so many ways

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  40. Thinking of you and your gorgeous girl.

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  41. Not to rush you... but... any updates? Is everyone still happy and healthy? Thinking of you.

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  42. I know you are very busy. Understatement of the decade! But how are things? Quick update?

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  43. Beautiful. Just beautiful.

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  44. I'm so very late to comment, but I've been reading along and am so very happy that little Hope made her way into your arms. She is amazing and beautiful and precious, and I hope you are both doing well.

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  45. I am so very late to this, but wanted to offer a huge congratulations. I am so very happy for you. She is beautiful and perfect :)

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