Sunday, 1 December 2013

First flutters and baby Buddhas

So, December. Seriously, when did that happen? After so many weeks in which every agonizing second seemed to crawl by, allowing me too much time to over-analyze ever twinge, post-pee toilet paper wipe and scary what if thought in painful, terrifying slow motion, this past week has flown past at lightening speed. Mammoth Hanukkah latke-making (and eating) sessions, trips into London to see the exciting Paul Klee exhibition I mentioned, and my performance in a holiday-themed flashmob organized by my choral group as well as less joyful, more stressy work deadlines, have all helped to fill the week and catapult us into this final month of 2013.

But really, mostly, there is this: I am now 13w3d 13w4d into a pregnancy in which our little seedling gives every indication of being happy and healthy in there, progressing without complication. I can't really believe it, the good fortune, the truth of it all. I know I've said it before, but even (especially) when that second line appeared, I never imagined we'd make it this far. Second trimester! Mind blowing.

Last Wednesday was our nuchal translucency screening, and all appears normal (we'll have more conclusive results when the accompanying bloodwork comes back in another week). We had a lovely u/s tech who spent a lot of time touring us around each of little seedling's appendages, including already-kissable no maternal bias here, I swear upturned nose, miniature and perfectly round little toes on tiny flailing feet. And this time, I think there could be no mistaking that it was mild annoyance (rather than delight) that caused said kicking. S/he kicked up a fuss when ordered, so that the tech could get her nuchal fold measurements, but was otherwise content to be left alone and continue it's chilled out, intrauterine dozing.

How am I able to hypothesize? Well, this past week has seen another amazing development: little seedling has started to oblige with the concrete, anthropic evidence that I have been so craving; I am beginning to feel distinct movement. I know this is incredibly, unusually lucky, but I had similarly early sensations of movement with S (at around 15 weeks), so I guess my body just tunes into that stuff somehow. If I'm sitting or lying quite still, I'll get a very pronounced whooshing feeling, followed by little flutters. It's strange and amazing and miraculous.

And there have been exactly two times this week when little seedling has felt the urge to flail with such notable intensity. The first was during a rather fraught and confrontational 'discussion' with my mother last Sunday (worthy of a post in itself), when emotions ran high. The second was when H and I went to the movies to see the rather tense and suspenseful Captain Phillips the evening after the scan, the tone of which kept me for large parts of the film on the edge of my seat and not just because of necessary bathroom breaks. <Note to fellow pregnant readers out there: films which take place exclusively on the open waters of the ocean, complete with naturalist, jerky camera work conveying the surging crest of 30-foot waves, are not advised when morning sickness might be an issue. And the film wasn't that great, either.>

Anyway, put together with little seedling's reluctance to dance for the u/s tech, these bouts of movement in the face of (actual or fictional) tense, stressful situations have led H and I to developed an image of this baby as blissed-out, slightly languorous, and certainly conflict-avoidant. Basically, I'm harbouring a tiny baby Buddha. Or an adorable sloth. << weirdly cute image right there...

Whether through fervent parental daydreams or actual human development remains to be seen, but it's kind of fun to think about how quickly distinct personality traits suggest themselves.   


I wonder if little seedling will also be as corpulent.












Of course, things aren't all fluffy bunnies and unicorn farts around here, and even though I haven't been blogging quite so much lately, I'm sure I'll soon be back with the other side of the coin. But while that stuff too has it's important place, for today I'm continuing to work on all the good stuff. The fullness of life. Right here, right now.

And Happy Hanukkah/Thanksgiving to those celebrating this week!

19 comments:

  1. Yay for the second tri! Once baby started moving is when I really was able to bond and let go (mostly) of the detached fear that I felt early on. Hoping that all continues to progress well!

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    1. I think that is what I am finding too; although I'm still living with the fear (and the real possibility) that something could go wrong, I am also opening up more and more to the sense of hope that I will really get to meet this little one, who seems more and more real in the last week. This has been a watershed for me, and I feel so fortunate to have these signs so early on.

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  2. Start breathing some sighs of relief. Even though the fear won't go away, it really sounds like your little Buddha is settling in. So cool that you're feeling her so early.

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    1. I really hope the little Buddha is making itself at home (and certainly appears not to be shy about stating its preferences!). The fear *is* always there, but increasingly, so is the hope and happiness. It's a nice place to be :)

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  3. Awwww, I'm SO happy for you Sadie! I love that you're harbouring a baby buddha - blissed out babies are the absolute best! All conflict and stressy deadlines aside, this is all great news. :)

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    1. Thanks! I guess you know what you're talking about, as your Moonbeam seems such a relaxed and happy girl. I hope this little one will continue with the blissed out attitude once s/he's on the outside!

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  4. Woohoo for the second trimester! And wow about possible early movements! That's amazing :)

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    1. Truly amazing, second trimester and movement both. And I'm sure you won't be too far behind!

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  5. I am so so so happy for you Sadie. Glad things are progressing so well and everyone is healthy! Here's to another 2 uneventful trimesters!!

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    1. Uneventful and boring would be exactly what we're hoping for. Thanks for cheering us on!

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  6. I'm so happy for you that things continue to go well. And movement--wow! I thought I felt the very first flutter at about 14 weeks but couldn't really be sure until 16 weeks. Isn't it wonderful to have that tiny reassurance that everything is okay!

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    1. I think it's a bit easier when you actually *know* what it is you're feeling. I think with S I had those sensations but couldn't really identify them right away. It's a wonderful feeling, though this kid seems to be sporadic in its activities, so I'm trying to not pay *too* much attention - I can always find something to worry about...

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  7. I can't believe you're already in the second trimester! Other people's pregnancies always seem to move so quickly (I'm sure it hasn't felt that way to you!).
    Wow, that is so early to feel movement-- you're lucky! Movement is what has helped put my mind at ease. Though mine didn't come until 20 or so weeks. So far, it's my very favorite part of pregnancy! I'm so glad everything is moving along smoothly for you.

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    1. I can't really believe it either, for all kinds of reasons. Isn't that funny how when you're watching form the outside, it all seems to speed by? When it's you doing the counting and the worrying...not so much. Although even I have to say I'm surprised how suddenly time seems to have resumed its relentless movement. I hope that with lots of distractions and lots of happy little signs from baby, that trend will continue through the holidays and beyond!

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  8. Yup, it is December already. Can't believe it either! Somehow time pass even when it doesn't feel like it ;)
    So pleased to hear you feel movements already, what a sweet relief! Couldn't be more thrilled for you!!

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    1. Thank you dear Marwil. It is such a sweet feeling, I'm almost taken aback; I'd forgotten what it feels like to be that hopeful and happy. Wonderful indeed.

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  9. This is so exciting that you feel movements already, so far it is the best part, and wait until they get stronger, it is just the most amazing thing. Like, "wow, this is real, she is there". I can't believe it is December either, for some reason I don't feel ready for it.

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    1. Yes, it's a wonderful reminder of just how real this all is - it makes me equal parts thrilled and terrified.

      December really crept up on me this year, I think because I was too busy obsessing about this pregnancy. Suddenly we had Hanukkah celebrations, and before we know it Christmas will be here, and I don't feel ready either (though I'm more than ready for this pregnancy to keep progressing)!

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  10. Even if it isn't all unicorn farts, I am glad that here and now in the moment of this post you are happy and having flutters.

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