Wednesday, 30 January 2013

Oh f%#k

Right about now, I could be writing a witty post about surviving the travails from deep within the two week wait (I'm halfway through). But this is not that post.

This morning I went for a routine smear test, and while down there, the nurse found a polyp on my cervix. She said it was 'probably nothing to worry about', but I could tell by her reaction on finding it that she was a bit freaked out; she admitted never having seen one before. (Perhaps I shouldn't have asked?) I'm being referred for a colposcopy so a specialist can have a better look, and won't know anything more until then, I guess*. I'm resisting the urge to goo.gle the hell outta this thing, I know it'll only make me feel more anxious.

Come on universe, can you not just cut me some slack here? Once upon a time, I used to love and worship my body like it were a goddess temple, but nowadays I'm not so sure it deserves quasi-divine status.

It's probably nothing, they said.

But seriously, what if it's not nothing? All of a sudden, this has turned into an altogether different kind of waiting.


*Thanks to the wonders of the National Health Service here in the UK, according to my GP practice, any colposcopy referral will be treated as an 'emergency' case. Which means I have to wait only...oh, just a maximum of six weeks.



I'd totally do it, if I thought it'd work

 


15 comments:

  1. Emergency? Six weeks? grrrrrrrrr NHS grrrrrrr. Hub and I are seriously considering private healthcare.

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    1. I know, right?! I wouldn't blame you and Remus at all for going private, H and I are considering a move.
      Thanks for stopping by!

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  2. I am sorry you are dealing with this. I think if you do some quick research you will actually feel better and less panicked, though! Treatment is simple! At times like these it is ultra important to treat your body like a goddess temple!!!

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    1. You were so right! I did (research), and I do (feel better)! Thanks for the support.

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  3. Hello Sadie,
    Thank you for making contact :)

    I'm sorry to see that you are having to deal with this at the moment.

    I have to say I bloody love the NHS (I'm pretty sure I would have died 'in the wild' when I lost Lyra, and my dad is a neonatal nurse so I have loyalty issues :)) but it is so frightening and fraustrating to have to wait on things like this...

    Sending you a cyber hug!

    xxx

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    1. Thanks for stopping by Nomi, I'm so glad to have found your blog as well!

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  4. Thank you so much for visiting my blog. Considered an emergency, which could be a 6 week wait? Hmmmm.....

    It's just not fair everything we have to endure, but try not to stress too much. I know it's easier said than done. Good luck!

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    1. No, it's not fair but I'm working on the no stress thing (can't be good for 2ww). It's really the frustration of having to wait the six weeks for an 'emergency' consult.
      Thanks for your support.

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  5. Oh FFS how annoying! Although, if it weren't for that smear test it could have been sitting there for a long time without being found. Just saying. But the waiting is ridiculous!

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    1. You're right, and that's what H said as well...in a way this is 'lucky'. But yeah, the waiting and the annoyance are hard to bear just now, when I'm trying to get back on my feet emotionally.

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  6. YOU ARE STILL A GODDESS.
    Even they get extra bits Im sure. My freind had one removed a couple of years back. Hope you get the issue sorted asap, I think you have enough on your plate already extras to deal with.X

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    1. Thank you for saying that Sally :) My body and I have a love/hate relationship these days...I'm sure you can relate.
      I hope in the end mine will be as straightforward as your friend's.

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  7. I have had polyps twice. Although they were in m uterus and no one ever seemed alarmed by them. The only reason I had them removed was because my RE thought it would affect implantation. I don't know if having one on the cervix is worse?? I was told they are generally benign and nothing to worry about. It's probably nothing more than another annoying delay. Sorry you are in for such a long wait before getting answers.

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    1. Thanks for the reminder Jen! I'm sure you're probably right about it being no big deal, but I have the same concern as your RE, since we're actively trying.

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  8. I hope it's nothing, but how frustrating to have to wait so long to find out! Sending you big hugs to get through yet another wait.

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