After all, Infertility is clearly a Feminist issue. Perhaps for our generation especially, these two are intertwined in intimate and often uncomfortable ways*. That particular post is one I've been writing in my head since long before I started this blog. Maybe even since long before I started this journey to motherhood.
But today I'm not going to give you that post, because I'm still the tiniest bit wallow-y, and well, because I have to go to work. So I leave you instead with the words of one of my favourite Feminist gurus. You're welcome.
Happy Women's Day all.
*Like, really. How come I can't find a solid statement on IF from any Feminist thinker worth her salt? Are we, perchance, being let down here?
Edited to add: I should mention Lind Layne, (who I once had the opportunity to meet at a work event), on the topic of recurrent pregnancy loss. I'm a great admirer of her work.
I am sending you love and hope. Know that if you need to vent / rant I am here.
ReplyDeleteThat is a super cute video, and so true. BTW, the other day I was babysitting our neighbors (5 year old boy, 3 year old girl). I had nail polish on, light pink on all of them, 1 pink glitter middle finger :).) It was the boy who said "what a nice nail polish". So, just saying, boys like pink too, and that is fine (and no, that does not make him anything, except a kid who likes shiny stuff).
My post still has to come, but spoiler alert, I am writing, among other things, about how often I have felt that I am a total woman fail as : 1. I dont't have the career (I always think of Lily Allen's lyrics: "she's got an all right job but, it's not a career, whenever she thinks about it, it brings her to tears", and now I don't even have the job) and 2. I don't have /can't seem to know how to make the babies.
Anyhow, thanks for linking to that article. I think infertility is still a stigma, still a taboo, and often women get blamed, remember Marie Antoinette?(Eventhogh male infertility exists, and it's also awfully harsh on men, as it's their very virility being "tested"). We are unexplained, but in any case it's not about the blame. It's about a very primitive instinct that makes you question your whole existence (philosophically, or in evolutionary terms it basically determines it). But the shame and the blame should stop (we do that already to ourselves, and getting past that is hard, painful, and takes lots of work, tears and introspection). This is just something that happens, and that we have no control (or seemingly, knowledge) over. No one should get nasty , mean looks, insensitive comments or snide looks in the same way that say, people with asthma don't get them... you did not choose to go through this, you do not "deserve" it (nobody does) and you did not do anything to get it. Sometimes bad things happen for no good reason...
(So my post did not go up at all at AOW though I had the email confirmation.... I put it up on my blog in case you would like to read it).
DeleteHugs.
I was also thinking about feminist issues today.. especially as we might be adopting from sub-saharan Africa, a region where gender equality issues are paramount. I didn't write a blog post about it though, as I couldn't wrap my mind around what I wanted to say in the limited amount of time I had to write this afternoon. I'm glad you wrote a post in relation to women's issues :)
ReplyDeleteLooking forward to reading that post someday soon!
ReplyDeleteMeanwhile, Riley is my new hero. I love the way she shrugs, as if this stuff should just be OBVIOUS to grown-ups, because DUH!