Sunday, 10 March 2013

On Second Thought

Remember how I counted this cycle as done and dusted earlier this week? Well now I'm not even sure if it's ended, and I have to say I am totally confused. I posted that update on Thursday because I had all the usual PMS-ish symptoms - bloatiness and cramping and general blech feelings, sore boobs, fatigue, 30 second emotional meltdowns of the I-will-never-parent-a-living-child variety - that always indicate Day One is on its merry way. By Wednesday evening I had already begun the mild spotting that has become pretty typical since my third loss.

And so I sat, wallowing under the duvet, and I waited. And waited. And nothing really happened.

And before we get unreasonably enthusiastic about the possibilities herein, let me rule out the prospects for anything approximating a pregnancy in the works. Zero. A gazillion negative pregnancy tests concur on that. Well, ok, it was five; but all different brands and all at different times of day - for the sake of triangulation - with the last this morning, just to rule out the possibility (and potential new source of worry) of a late implanter.

I actually had a very faint line on the first test I did on Monday afternoon, but it didn't appear until a good thirty minutes after use*, so in light of that and the subsequent mounting evidence, I'm guessing it was an evil evaporation line. 

At first I worried that the late arrival of my period would clash with the long awaited and finally nearly here procedure to remove my cervical polyp. But, then.

By Friday evening all those predictable symptoms seemed to have dissipated, and now I'm just....sitting here, confused. Not bleeding.

Now I'm sure for many of you who have experienced irregular or anovulatory cycles this might all sound like nothing. (Obviously, it's nothing. Literally). And maybe you can add your two cents and provide some insight as I await the call to my doctor tomorrow morning. However I have always been a pretty standard and predictable 28 day kind of girl.

Fourteen hours of spotting, bloating and sore boobs. I probably even thought that coming here and recording all this on the interweb would help me get things in order and find some clarification. But no, I'm still confused. Was that a period?

Aaaahhhgg! How does all this work if I can't count a Cycle Day? Does not compute!


* I always think this gives a special insight into the insanity that is my hoping-to-be-pregnant brain. Is there any other item on which you have recently urinated that you would want to save for future reference?


  1. (((Hugs))) to you Sadie as you struggle.


  2. I wish I had an answer for you. I always had pretty regular cycles except when I needed my period to start on time. Then it would usually show up early or late just to f*ck with me.

  3. I never track my cycle anymore, so I can't give you any insight, but I am sending you lots of good vibes and hoping you can relax a little until you find the answers you are looking for

  4. Thanks for commenting on my blog. It's nice to virtually meet you! Hmmm, I wish I had some answers for your conundrum, but I will send tons of good vibes your way. And you are definitely not alone in keeping pee sticks for an insanely inappropriate amount of time.

  5. Hugs to you. I have no experience here... I tend to hope that if there is no period, there is still a possibility.
    My cycle is very regular, I always get my period on day 26. And that's how it always has been until I started getting the progesterone supplementation. In which case I get my period 1 day and a half after I stop taking it. Two months ago it was weird though, I had spotted very very lightly 1 day, and then I started my "real" period a day and a half after that (normally my period would start all in 1 moment, pain and the rest would all come together ,with the ridiculous crying 1 day before). I blame the extra supplementation, because it is supposed to keep the endometrium in place, which makes sense with what I have felt.

    Definitely explain all of it to your doctor, maybe they will know something.

    In the meantime... try not to think too much about it, get a cup of tea, a book, go for a walk.... And hopefully the procedure on your polyp will help things start going smoothly.

  6. I have nothing to offer to help in understanding this other than hugs to you as you.

  7. I can't remember having a "false alarm" period like you described, but I can sure relate to keeping the pg tests. I know we're not supposed to do it. And still do it every time!

    A few years ago, I had minor surgery to remove NINE uterine polyps. It was scary at the time -- just because hey, what's that stuff doing in there? But everything was benign, the recovery was almost painless, and we had a short break from TTC (maybe 3 months, can't remember for sure). I'm hoping that the break (if there is one) will be shorter for you, since there's just one polyp and it's not in an area where an embryo would implant. Good luck!

  8. Ugh, how frustrating. The one thing you need in this mess of chaos and insecurity is some kind of finality - a period or a baby (preferably the latter), but just not this in between-ness. Thinking of you.


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