Wednesday, 13 February 2013

Romantic Sabotage

No, I'm not talking about the infertility-inflicted kind, that robs us of opportunities for spontaneous romance and the sheer pleasures of couplehood; what with all its timed intercourse, gotta-think-ahead, mandated procedures and hormones, vaginal wand wielding, and of course the ubiquitous cultural tyranny of its two-is-not-enough thinking. I'm not talking about that kind of romantic sabotage. That we all know too well.

I'm talking about my husband, the devious saboteur hopeless romantic.

He's known since the first days of our fledgling romance that I'm not really a heart-shaped-box-of-chocolates kind of girl, but he can't resist the opportunity for a surprise celebration. (Who can blame him, really? I do adore his penchant for prosecco in the afternoon, just because). The first Valentine's Day we spent together he tricked me into agreeing that we'd do absolutely nothing to mark the day. I happily took this to heart (excuse the unfortunate pun), and did nothing. He took it as an opportunity to sneak out and buy chocolate (not just any chocolate, this stuff. Oh my god, their salted caramel chocolates...) and place it on my pillow in the morning. Chocolate for breakfast! It's below the belt. And despite my best attempts, (ok then, I didn't try that hard), he's been engaging in variations of the above ever since.

It's not that I don't love a little romance; I enjoy being brought flowers as much as the next girl. I just don't like romance by directive.

I do however have a weakness for chocolate, so this year, if he insists, who am I to protest? He wins. Wanton disregard for cervical position and cycle day Jungle time (*blush*) will almost certainly follow.

Plus, after my wobble yesterday, I'm trying to look on the bright side of just us two, with no little person to share stuff like this with. Because if I have to cry tears, let their salty taste be matched -bettered - by decadent salted caramel chocolates. Let me bask in the warmth - as gooey and cloying as it may sound - of my love for the man who made me want to make babies in the first place.

Blog friends, will you mark Valentine's Day with your other half? Ignore it? How have your experiences of infertility or loss altered the romance in your relationships?


  1. We don't do much. I have never been a fan of the holiday and don't feel the need to celebrate it. We have a tradition of staying in and having pizza but we don't do gifts anymore.

  2. I am not a fan of V day (or any Hallmark holiday, for that matter) and don't really do much. I am a believer of doing something nice because I want to, not because I am supposed to. That said, my hubby will probably bring home chocolates and we'll definitely be nice to each other and cuddle.

  3. Enjoy the jungle time and the salted caramel chocolates!!!! I am not looking forward to teaching tomorrow, because all my middoe school students will be hoped up on sugar and hormones. who got a valentine from who!!?!?!? no plans for tomorrow but we will take advantage of the prix fixed menus and go out to dinner friday! re transfer celebration or something?!

  4. hmmm, chocolate would have been nice but I got a 2013 diary instead, along with a big card with My Girl written on the front. Im afraid the first response to me telling him last week that the V day was impending was "WICKED, we can eat New York Cheese cake as a treat", not the first thing I was expecting to cross his mind. Now thats the love you cant buy.X


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