The last few days have been a mixed bag. Friday I managed to spend a lovely evening with H and all but banish any two week wait thinking from my mind. Saturday was a disaster from start to finish though, not helped by random circumstances of proportions so annoying I really reached she-devil state.
I got up early and peed on a stick, which of course was crazy because I couldn't have been more than 10 days past ovulation. I think (well, I know) I do this as a means to just get the inevitable heart fall out of the way as quickly as possible, which is incredibly stupid given the fact that a negative so early just leaves room for thoughts along the lines of exactly that; it's too early to confirm. Anyway, naturally that stark single line put me in a foul mood, and so naturally I picked a fight with poor H. It's ok, he's endlessly understanding and we patched it up quickly.
I then logged into my online banking account to take care of some bills, only to be greeted with this image in their advertisement for mortgage banking:
|It's so ideal! Source.|
Seriously, Bank? I just wanna pay my f#&king rent! I get it, this is the image for which we are all supposed to strive; first-time buyers' mortgage, life insurance, laughy, loving, baby-on-the-way, billboard-worthy marriage. Puke. We really are surrounded.
This all culminated in the malfunction, on Saturday evening and through the night, of our building's fire alarm, so that at regular intervals from 9pm onwards the whole building was disturbed by ear-piercing wails which then woke us with great regularity through the wee hours (I still have the ringing ears to prove it, though they are toiling away to rectify the problem as I type). So yeah, I was lovely come yesterday morning.
Luckily, some yoga and a long Sunday hike through the uncharacteristically sunny countryside, through meadows and along a beautiful stretch of windswept beach, followed by time in the kitchen preparing one of my absolute favourite dinners, helped unwind me, such that the crap mood instigated by the negative pee stick is a distant memory and I'm back to my unrealistic levels of hopefulness. Full circle! Trying - in the face of what's clearly a pretty substantial level of mental instability, really - to stay hopeful.
I'm in such a good mood now that I'm probably even going to share the recipe for said dinner.
|Some friendly picnic-ers we met while walking|